so that wasnt chicken after all
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
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I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
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Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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