she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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