the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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