I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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