Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Text me some of your sweat
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
