I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
