ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
