do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
