I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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