Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
