More tranny stories later!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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