i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
