Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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