Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
