and you said cock pushups were impossible
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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