How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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