I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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