I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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