So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
