I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
