Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize