I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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