I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
