she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
