Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
