Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
