There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
