dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
God I need to hump something, right now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
