Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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