don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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