That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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