yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
