Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
