I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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