Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
