I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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