SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
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There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
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You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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