my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
