WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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