I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
