We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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