You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
