Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
