matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
