ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
