I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
