One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
