I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
