Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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