So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
