my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
