I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
