I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just had sex bonerless
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
