I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
