She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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