i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
