i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
