I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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