omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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