the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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