Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
