You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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