never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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