Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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