Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
