I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize