Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My feet surprised me
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